Marathon Fever is described generally as an irrational urge to run 26.2 miles. Onset may be sudden, or may occur after a long and gradual incubation period. Symptoms may include signs of mania; a sudden increase in levels of technical fabric in one's wardrobe; a change in sleeping patterns (e.g., waking up at 5 a.m. to run); hoarding of energy gels; and compulsive spending on such items as shoes, visors, and GPS watches. The first recorded case of Marathon Fever occurred in Greece, circa 490 B.C.
How is Marathon Fever transmitted?
New runners may contract Marathon Fever any number of ways. Most commonly, newbies pick it up from a friend, relative, or coworker who has recently run a marathon. It can be transmitted through the air, as a marathoner talks about his or her exploit; or virally, as when a runner views one of those motivational-quote images via email or Facebook. In rare cases, a runner has picked up Marathon Fever simply by touching a marathoner's finisher's medal. Note that, contrary to widespread belief, Marathon Fever CANNOT be transmitted through bites. If a marathoner bites you, you should wash and bandage the wound immediately, especially if the bite has broken the skin. But you are not in danger of contracting Marathon Fever.
How is Marathon Fever treated?
There is no known treatment for Marathon Fever. Sufferers must let the illness run its course. Usually this means entering, training for, and finishing a marathon. This may result in blisters, bloody nipples, stiffness, body aches, loss of gross motor control, and confusion -- all signs that the body is ridding itself, at last, of the sickness.
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