Training for Ragnar

Click here to go to the source of this hilarious blog entry - she rocks

In the flurry of emails regarding the upcoming Ragnar races someone on my team who has never run Ragnar asked for training advice.  A veteran team member replied to break his runs up into 2 pieces.  If he currently runs 6 miles today, run 3 in the morning and 3 in the afternoon or evening to get used to running more than once a day. While that advice is absolutely correct, it can be expanded on.  Here is what I suggest for Ragnar training:

Get up early, about 5am, eat breakfast from a gas station, drive around in the car, get out, walk around, get back in the car, get out of the car and then go for a run.  Get in the vehicle immediately after the run DO NOT STRETCH and drive around, go do errands, whatever.  DO NOT SHOWER.  Eat again, sit around, go find a construction site with a rank smelling port-a-potty and no toilet paper, then go for another run.  You should be getting sleepy about now. Find someone who talks non-stop and ask them to talk to you while you try and sit quietly. It is very important that the  non-stop talking occurs for the next 7 hours. DO NOT SLEEP. It should now be nighttime and you should be very tired.  DO NOT SLEEP. Turn on the TV, find PBS and a show about wild animals, turn up the volume on the TV. Kick back on the couch with your spare roll of toilet paper that you carry with you everywhere after the port-a-potty incident, close your eyes and just when you are about to sleep, the wild animals should start to roar, this should continue for 2 hours. If it is effective roaring, you will laugh from delirious tiredness and wonder when you can get up and run again.  At 3 am, get up and go outside, walk around, get in and out of the vehicle for good measure,  drink some luke warm coffee or hot chocolate, take Pepto Bismal for the upset stomach and then go for another run.  By this point you should be tired, smelly, stiff and sore but well trained for losing your Ragnar virginity.